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lyrics

You’re so old
I guess you’ve been told by now that you’re very old
you’re probably covered in mold-y substances
like old people are, they always smell funny
saving the holes in their socks just like money

‘Cuz you’re old
not long til your bladder is uncontrolled
fold up your gold folding chair and go shuffle into the kitchen
if your teeth aren’t too brittle to chew your dinner
(they might be brittle, so watch out)

‘Cuz you’re old, my muffin
gray hairs are creeping in
‘cuz you’re old, my muffin
you are so very...

So very wise
what lies behind those wrinkled eyes?
Just lie back with an ice pack on your artheritic thighs
and I’ll massage them
Take your yellowed photos
and I’ll collage them

‘Cuz you’re old, my muffin
constipation is your friend
‘cuz you’re old, my muffin
not long until the end
‘cuz you’re old, my muffin

you are so very, so very... old.

Only three decades
and some gray in your hair!
Do not despair!
I will still be there, my muffin!

credits

from Muffin Songs Vol​.​1, released March 23, 2012

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B-Va New York, New York

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Featuring Riley Pinkerton (aka The Rat Queen) from the theatrical NYC rockers, Castle Rat.
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